Mother

My sister, Ginny and I took mom to the “Captain’s Cottage” for tea and breakfast as a mother’s day present. The place was so cluttered with tacky like fake lace crap and mismatched teacups and all sorts of weird shit on the walls. It was like walking into a grandmother's house, where your grandma is senial and collects everything, but still leaves the price tag on them, (in case you want to buy it off her). We drank tea and for a nontalkative family, we actually talked a lot. Given, it was more nagging than talking, but same difference. At some point, this weird old lady with a potbelly came out in a like traditional maid's uniform, a frilly apron and weird like frilly hat to match. She hobbled around serving tea or something. We started laughing so hard. Tears were pouring from our eyes, we were laughing so hard. We got served tea and little sandwiches and cakes and the sort. Another old lady in a maid outfit came out and told us some story about how this ship sailed with the captain (of the cottage's namesake) and everyone in town went down to see them off and brought their instruments and had to put their chello or bass on a rock, and so started the first Rock band and they called themselves the Rolling Stones. Har Dee Har Har. I think we were supposed to laugh, but we didn't think it was funny, so she didn't tell us anymore jokes. She did pinch my cheek when we paid the bill, tho. How old am I? 5?!?Then mom wanted to pick weeds in Ginny’s yard. I don't know why she likes to pick weeds. It's a chore, but somehow it's like stress-relieving for her. Sure, mom, getting down in the dirt to scrape your hands on thorns and get stung by nettle, sounds relaxing to me! It took her forever to leave ‘cuz she was weed-whacking. We found 3 hypodermic needles in Ginny’s front lawn. =( That’s not good at all. Oh yeah, that neighborhood is really comin up! That's West Oakland for ya, I guess! =( Later, we drove past a place on Telegraph and my mom points to it and goes: “That place makes the best éclairs.” We both look at the name of the place and it says, “Éclair Bakery” Haha. Ok, thanks for being obvious, mom!