2009. A new year, new beginnings. It doesn't feel so new. I am quickly brought back to memories of last year. The pain is still there, still fresh. I am still heartbroken, still grieving, still more stressed than I have ever been. How long will it take? Will 2009 be a year wasted, stuck in the past? A resolution to get over it is naive and impossible. If one could will it to go away, there wouldn't be so many cliche phrases about time. But time feels like too much to ask for right now.

How many more times do I have to relive the horrors? Are things ever going to stop reminding me of what I'm missing?