Red, Red Wine...

Last night, four of the girls in my hall and I decided to be sophisticated and have a glass of wine. It was a wonderful soiree, and we commented lightly that we need cheese for our next wine tasting event. Then we decide to move the party to Leah's room and finish off the 2nd bottle. Lupe and Jennie are giddy/hyper drunk, Leah and I are chillin on our high, and Kelly's still sober. So, we go to Jeremy's Strawberry flavored Hooka to level out, and of course, drink another bottle of wine! 30 min later, we parade back down the steps, with wine-stained glasses in our pockets. We meet Kevin and his friend, Frank, on the stairs and invite them to Lupe's room for another bottle of wine. After spilling wine all over her shirt, Kelly ditches out to go work on her essay. Then we go back upstairs with the glasses to Kevin's room, so they can smoke ane we can all share yet another bottle of wine. After that, the girls all come to my room where we eat mashed potatoes and cheese. Finally, we all split up and retreat to our rooms to pass out before midnight. Somewhere along the way, we lost Leah's corkscrew, so we ended up using pliars for half the bottles. The tiny plastic wine glasses and blue dining hall cup are missing, but we held onto the wine glasses and martini glass, which seemed to get trekked everywhere. Everyone has some memorable wine carpet stains. Wine Wednesdays are a great hall-bonding experience. The RA should go away during the week more often.

Jennie: "I'm not very drunk..........Actually, I'm really drunk..."

Episode 46: The Shoelace Scandal

In todays episode, Evil Jack the Whipper kidnaps Lovely Lauren and ties her up by the fountain. He steals her shoelaces and throws it into the icy waters. It lands at the top of the sharp twisted metal sculpture in the center of the famous fountain. Lovely Lauren screams for help, but no one can reach the simple shoelace. Kate walks by, sees what is happening and quickly dodges behind the bushes. There, she rips open her shirt to reveal her secret identity, SUPERKATE!! In one fowl swoop, she knocks Jack the Whipper to the ground and unties Lovely Lauren. Then, SuperKate uses her superpowers to rescue the shoelace. (She takes off her shoes, rolls up her pants and wades into the frigid, pirannah-infested waters) But alas! The shoelace is still out of reach! Clever SuperKate tries to reach it with a stick, but to no avail. Finally, SuperKate gets brave and starts to climb the jagged sculpture. Her wet, frozen feet slip on the slick metal, but she keeps climbing. Finally, she reaches the top, and grabs the shoelace, but it gets stuck! It has knotted itself around one of the portruding tips. SuperKate climbs higher. She looks down. The raging rapids seem miles away. Her palms get sweaty and she swallows hard. With a shaking hand, she grasps the string and unties the nasty knot. She throws the schoelace down to Lovely Lauren who graciously thanks SuperKate. "It's all in a days work..." announces SuperKate. The town of Cowell is safe, thinks Kate.... for now at least.....
Tune in next week for Episode 47: The Hidden Hallway to Hell

Random Deep Thoughts

Troll Dolls

Feb. 17, 2003
Chris (12:23:57 AM): love changes you
Chris (12:24:09 AM): unfortunatly it is into a troll
Me (12:24:37 AM): But hopefully, you turn into one of those magic plastic troll dolls with neon hair that sticks straight up and a jewel in the belly! =)
Oh, yeah, they were *magical*

Dirk

Dirk - 'd&rk (noun)
: a long straight-bladed dagger
When I was a wee bonnie lassie, I met a Highlander on the Isle of Skye. He caught me glancing at his dirk so he brought it out to show me. He taught me two important lessons which I shall never forget: One must never take it out without drawing blood and it slips very nicely between the third and fouth rib of ev'ry Englishman.
With that, he pricked his finger and placed it back in his sock, where it belonged.

Those Omniscent Eyes - They see and know all...

I saw a hobbit today... And a woman that looked like a man, of course I see that everday, because it lives in my building.
I saw an umbrella in my hallway and oil in the road. I saw a man with a kilt and a woman with sunglasses. It rained today.
I saw orange leaves and brown trees, and red mud.
Witch way, said the Which. I know the way, said I.
It is through the vines that smell of honey and under the lacey bushes, into the goblins cave and out of the spider's lair.
Go and seek your destiny, go and seek your past. It is the journey ahead worth taking and your dreams forsaking.

...and the wee folk call 'em Netties

I went to the Library today, and on the way back I watched as a guy jumped off the path into the weeds and started inspecting the plants. When I got closer to him, I asked, "What are you doing?" He said, "I'm looking for Stinging Nettle." I laughed, "Then why are you touching all the plants?!?" "How else are you supposed to find it?" Good point. I didn't want to stay and ask why he wanted to get stung by the nettles...

Guys are sleazy.

They think their so smooth, but they really aren't. The truth is, we've heard it all before and if you say something that is supposed to come off as slick, chances are, we know exactly what you are doing, and judge you immediately on our scale of sleaziness. Here are some of the sleaziest comments I've gotten:
1. "I love you for all the wrong reasons." (Spoken by a 45+ year old man with his kids in the same room and his wife asleep downstairs!)
2. "Have you ever kissed a french guy?" (It was actually pretty funny, but sleazy 'cuz he was a dirty frenchman)
3. “We don’t have to do anything but kiss. We can just kiss sometimes. It’ll be our secret…” (Our secret? Only dirty men who molest little kids say things like that!)
4. "You're not married, are you?" Me: "Uhh.. No..." Him: Haven't even thought about it, yet? It's ok, you've got time. You can't be more than 30, right?" (I was 15 at the time)
5. My personal fav: "You have big boobs." (Spoken to me in one form or another by many a guy. Gee, guys, don't even try to disguise it as 'you have pretty eyes' or anything. That's ok, 'cuz this line is a real turn on! =| )

Now, with that said, not all guys are dirtbags. Some guys can also be sweet and romantic. Here are some of the best things ever said to me:
1. "I have to say this, or I'm not gonna forgive myself for not saying it.... You're really beautiful." (It was followed by a kiss on the hand. Now, that boys, is the only way to a woman's heart.)
2. "You remind me of Audrey Hepburn." (I love Audrey Hepburn, so this was a huge compliment)
3. "Just the slightest thought of you makes me so incredibly happy." (no comment)