Pluots: Romantic Fruit

A Pluot is a Plum crossed with an apricot, but they are more like plums than apricots (good thing, since I don't like apricots). The only difference between a Plum and a Pluot is that pluots are a little bit softer than plums and have just a hint of the apricot sweetness. SEX! Ok, do I have your attention again? Pluots are my newest favorite fruit! Why? Because they are the most romantic fruit! The color, as seen if you click here, ranges from a sunset orangey red to a dark crimson to a bloody wine red. Such an intense variety of passionate colors! Then, sometimes when you cut them, they look like juicy hearts (the shape, not the organ). But, speaking of organs, they do look like one... Because a plum is a "stone" fruit, as my English boss puts it (meaning it has a pit), the shape that the pit leaves, when the fruit is cut into 1/4's, looks like the umm female... err... vulva region, uhh area... (Makes sense, 'cuz it's the reproductive portion of the fruit)... Oh! And their taste, like love, is so complex - not just one straight flavor like a strawberry (the typical fruit of romance). When you bite into a pluot, you rip past the tart, firm skin and sink your teeth into the juicy, sweet soft flesh. It goes from a sharp sour to soft sweetness and back to a tarty mix of the two. It's absolutely mouthwatering - an orgasmic experience... Hehe, well not for me, I don't personally like the taste of apricots and plums are OK. But Angela, my coworker, would make the deepest Mmmms and moans when she stole bites of the succulent fruit.

Virginia and Karmalita - A Match Made in Heaven

My sister has wanted a Chihuahua for a loong time and finally she got one - a pregnant one! It had puppies and she gave them all away 'cuz she liked the mom the best. Then less than 6 months later, the next time that Karmalita goes into heat, she gets her knocked up by a white Chihuahua! 6-9 weeks later, no puppies. She goes to the vet. It turns out that the damn dog has been lovin every minute of being pampered 'cuz we thought she was pregnant. She's not! She loves that dog so much. Since some people think my sister looks like Reese Witherspoon, she was Elle Woods, from Legally Blonde for halloween, of course using her dog as a prop! =) Today, my sister brought her over and she's wearing her usual spike collar and her toenails are painted blue to match my sisters!! Who paints their dogs toenails?!?! My sister does.

Innocent Fun

On Friday night, I came home from work to an empty house and a new silver Mercedes convertible in the garage! Since no one was home, I decided to take it for a spin! I drove around the block, grinning and waving like, "look at me in my cool car!". I put the top up and down and then put it back in the garage just where I found it, thinking no one will notice. Then I went to go meet Kelly and Sarah to go to to Hooters! It would have been more people, but Meagan and her boyfriend canceled at the last minute and Dan didn't want to go (a guy that doesn't want to go to Hooters - weird, I know). My mom calls and says, "Boy, you must be brave, to drive my new car!" =( Oops! I don't know how they noticed, probably 'cuz I moved the seat, since that's the only thing different! Oh well, so Kelly and Sarah and I headed over to the city and ate at Hooters. It was fun! We got balloons and pictures with a group of Hooters girls! Whoo hoo! Then we went to Santa Clara to see SWAT at like midnight! We got our balloons confiscated by a theater employee!! =( The movie was horribly predictable, and Colin Ferrall is cute, but he ain't that cute! The movie ended at a quarter to 3 and we were about to kick some asses if they didn't give us our balloons back, but they did. I got home at 4am (4:30 by my mom's bedside alarmclock)! Yikes. I think I'm on my mom's shitlist for a while!

SQUE?

This woman I work with from Columbia doesn't speak english very well and I speak even less spanish. So, half the time when she says something to me I just smile and say yea. The first day of work, I couldn't figure out if she was showing me her dirty tattoos or offering to give me a Brazilian wax! I'm like uhhh hehe.. =) No se!

Oh Bloody 'Ell

Today is my mom's birthday. I, the official brithday (and other occasion) cake-baker of the family, am expected to bake her a cake. So, Oh devilish me, =) decides to bake her a red velvet cake. Velvet means that all the ingredients are sifted and whipped to make a smooth texture, and red, means that it is RED (ah the wonders of food coloring). But! I did not tell anyone that it's a red velvet cake, so when they cut into the white frosting and the knife comes up scarlet, Oh what a reaction I shall receive! Muahahaha. Ok, so it probably isn't that big of a deal, certainly not enough to write a whole blog about, but I'm bored, so yippee!

I got 5 on it

Hwy 5, known to me as the California Autobahn, is always interesting. 6 hours to LA and back. I drive about 100 mph when I can, but there are a lot of trucks that slow me down. I play with the cute guys and drive away from the not so cute ones. I see accidents, cars flipped and totaled, etc. I see missles from military bases and lines of a hundred army jeeps. My left arm gets sunburned one minute and rained on the next. I try not to look at the truck drivers who watch through their rearview mirror and then honk when I pass. Once I saw a strange thing shoot up into the sky with a rainbow smoke trail. I still don't know what it was, but it was beautiful. Today, I passed a fire that started while I was getting gas. No firefighters had come yet and the flames were on the pavement. I could feel the heat from the fire, it was actually kind of scary having to drive around the wildfire. Anyway, I'm lookin forward to more roadtrips down the California Autobahn (5) in the future! Whoo hoo.